So I’ve tried my best not to watch Tiger King on Netflix, and as of writing I still haven’t watched it, but I now know almost everything I need to know about it. I know all about Joe Exotic, all about his husbands, all about THE husband, yes, I know all about Carole Baskin, I’ve seen the memes and I’m considering making my own. I know about the music - I’ve watched the music videos and I loved it. But I’ll like to emphasise that I still haven’t seen it, and as you can tell, I probably don’t need to at this point. It’s probably an indictment of modern media culture that I already know everything about a show that I have not watched or have any intention to watch.

Right now, Netflix is shoving Tiger King in my face, prominently displaying it and recommending it, and still I refuse to watch it. I consider it a form of protest, because Netflix needs to know this, as futile as it is, that Tiger King is not good content. It’s interesting, diverting, sure, but it is not something around which to build programming. What do I mean? There is an algorithm that helps the big wigs at Netflix decide what to buy and to commission. Thanks to the success of Tiger King, be prepared for an avalanche of true crime documentaries about homosexual polygamists and their feuds with other keepers of exotic animals. I look forward to Gorilla Queen and Pangolin Prince, coming in just a few weeks.

This is why I cannot in conscience watch Tiger King because I do not want to add to its viewing figures and aid the algorithm in regurgitating versions of the same show. At this rate, Netflix might as well rebrand itself as the streaming platform for true crime content, with the sheer amount of the stuff on the platform. I’m not watching Too Hot to Handle, either, but I would love to see what the algorithm produces.